Philip (philaros) wrote,
Philip
philaros

brooding

I was feeling frustrated and bitter this week, because I came across one of the rare personal ads that really sounds just like what I'm looking for - someone into music and seeing live shows, not really an outdoorsy person or world traveler like so many of the women in the online personals seem to be, just generally really interesting and appealing - and just like all the other similar ones I've contacted, she completely ignored my message and didn't bother looking at my profile. (For the record, my message in these cases has always been to ask about what they're into, mention some bands I've seen lately, ask about something else in their profile that sounds interesting, and say that it looks like we have things in common and I hope to hear back from them soon.) It's just depressing that the people whose profiles suggest we have the most in common appear to have absolutely no interest in even considering me. What the hell? I'm no dreamboat, but I have enough self-esteem to know that my photo's not repellent either, and enough self-confidence to be sure my simple message of interest should not be a deterrent either. I would think more of these people would at least check out my profile, even if they can't be bothered to write back.

I'm not going to a HurryDate event this month. After the last one, I thought I should try the older 30-45 grouping again. However, the only event for that age group this month is a Jewish singles event. I was also considering the younger 25-35 event, which is next week, but rather to my surprise it's already full (at least for men). For some reason there's a three-week gap at the beginning of October - at least according to the current schedule - and then the next event listed is another 25-35 event. So I'm not sure when I'll next go, but I've got that free pass from the last one, and unless other things change I'll probably be using it.

I did very little work in July and August, so that's been contributing to my brooding. Also, after Go Play NW, my sleep schedule basically settled into 4 am to noon - I would go to bed between 2 and 3, but I generally wasn't falling asleep until around 4, and then I wouldn't really wake up and feel ready to get up until some time between 11 and noon, or even later. This was okay in the height of summer with the longer daylight hours, but now that it's moving into autumn and less daylight, it's really been starting to drag at me. I decided this week, helped by a scheduled conference call that I ended up not having to make, that it was time to start getting up at 9, so I've been setting my alarm again. Hopefully I'll soon start falling asleep earlier, it's been a rough week. Usually at this time of year I get that back-to-school feeling, the little rush of energy and the impetus to be doing things. That hasn't happened yet. Maybe once I've reset my sleep schedule and stopped feeling tired all the time, it'll come to me.
Tags: loneliness
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