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still looking...

Well, the latest woman to contact me did not respond to my first reply, nor to the second one I sent a few days later on the ground that my first reply hadn't really given her much to respond to - I commented on what she said but didn't ask questions in return, so that's what I did in my second reply - and after about a week she hid her profile. Presumably someone else she liked better got to her first.

I've tried contacting two other women, both ones I had bookmarked (the one I mentioned who hid her profile the day after I'd bookmarked her had subsequently unhid it), but have received no reply from either of them. So that's three women who've contacted me first (one just with a "wink") and three women I've contacted first, and nothing's come of any of that. I'm back to being discouraged. I do have another person bookmarked but haven't sent her a message yet, and I really need to.

This is like doing a freakin' job search through the classifieds, and there are few things I loathe more than that. Social networks like Friendster and Orkut are supposed to make that easier, by means of networking through your existing friends - in exactly the same way that it's much easier to get a job by knowing the right people. However, whenever I find someone interesting on one of those services, at best the other person is three steps away - a friend of a friend of one of my friends - so there's no good way to work the network.

Yes, yes, I've been told to go get involved in other activities, and meet new people directly... that means finding something else that interests me enough to devote time to it, and then hoping that there happens to be eligible women I find interesting and attractive who are also involved in the same activity. Now, I'll grant you that my current weekly activities - aikido training at a friend's apartment with another couple male friends, and a weekly role-playing game - are not exposing me to any new people. But finding a new activity that puts me in contact with strangers is still no more assured a way of finding someone with mutual interests than is browsing the Salon Personals or Friendster - and at least those services provide some basic information up front.

Anyhow, enough complaining, time for bed...


( 5 have written — Write )
Mar. 4th, 2005 12:49 pm (UTC)
Look around
I'd recommend trying to meet people offline, like at the Library (I'm guessing Seattle has a huge library like most metro areas?) There's tons of hot brainy lonely chicks there (or have I watched one too many movies?) Anyway, if I were a free-range male, that's where I'd start, and then work from there.


p.s. - Oh, and grocery stores - I mean like Cashier girls. Oh I do loves me the cute cashier girls. Oh, and the disney store. Well maybe that's just me...
Mar. 4th, 2005 01:21 pm (UTC)
Re: Look around
the cashier girls thing again??? dammit! sometimes man, you frighten me. why not become an advisor for girl scouts or something. freak! : )

anyway, NO nO and no... and when you were a free ranged male, you hung out in your back yard "tanning"... damn!

I think, Phil, its time to investigate that express date thing, the 3 minute dates thing that I've mentioned before. and another option, a cooking class. do you have a tuition reimbursement plan at work? take advantage of it, go to a night class or something... you're a smart guy, and you know a ton of stuff. a night class might introduce you to study partners, and new friends. and the cooking class is really a win win situation. I still highly recommend that.

thats my advice, ignore the freaky french guy. he's nuts. : )
Mar. 5th, 2005 07:28 am (UTC)
Re: Look around
I still really don't like the express dating idea.

No tuition reimbursement at work, and anyhow, if they were doing that, it'd be for tech writing or Windows programming related classes - if the idea is for me to meet a number of different women, that's not a prime situation.

I'm still not that keen on a cooking class, either, though it's probably a good idea just for myself, regardless of meeting women.
Mar. 5th, 2005 07:19 am (UTC)
Re: Look around
Well, without a structured event designed to meet people, as Jay suggests I attend, trying to meet people at the library, or a coffeehouse, or a bar, it's all the same: a totally random crapshoot, where all I have to go on is do I think they look attractive, and possibly are they reading a book I recognize, giving me an opening? And that's even more likely to be a string of letdowns with the added "benefit" of being shot down in person. At least, as I say, the online services (a) let me know up front who's single and looking, and (b) see some information about them so I can make an informed approach, instead of blindly randomly hoping that the cute girl I approach is single and shares something in common with me.

Of course, as I'm writing that, "Everybody Loves Me But You" starts playing, that seems like an oddly appropriate rebuttal to me.

As for grocery stores, come on, Marcel. Cashiers are high school, maybe college, girls. I'm not dating people who are my brother's age.
Mar. 9th, 2005 01:45 pm (UTC)
see, a cooking class! (i'm reading these backwards...) the thing with the class is that even if you don't meet the girl, you still got the class. it's less of a crapshoot, because people will see you (and vice versa) in action (unless you're a mouse in the back of the class).
( 5 have written — Write )

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