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Earlier | Later


Another pitfall I hadn't considered: what if I just don't want to write? Today was pretty much a wasteful day of wasting time doing nothing in particular, which only sours my mood, and now I don't want to write about the things I'd been thinking about writing and I don't have other ideas to write about. And I don't want to start a series of grumpysour posts about how I don't want to write. 'Cause I don't want to write those, either, and no one wants to read that crap.

Speaking of crap, that seems to be where my typing skills have gone. What the hell? It's like I'm developing aphasia very slowly. So I make basic mistakes, for example accidentally typing "your" instead of "you're", and worse, don't notice that I've done so. I haven't exactly prided myself on accurate typing as such, but it definitely goes along with my editing skills, which I do pride myself on. It's my livelihood to catch mistakes, so I can't be blithely making them when I type. (I should note at this point that "grumpysour" in the previous paragraph (and this sentence) was deliberate.)

Currently I'm thinking that posting here every day will be a goal just for July, and then I'll see how I feel after that. I may drop back to twice a week at that point, or I may continue. I'm worried about boring myself and others. I also think I'm going to do a "photo Friday" thing, posting photos that I've already got up on Flickr, not necessarily taking new ones just for the post. 

It all keeps coming back to work (meaning employment), really. When I have the right amount of regular work, I still have energy, interest, and enthusiasm for pursuing other things. When I'm working heavily a lot, as I did for the past four months, other activities fall by the wayside. When I'm not really working much at all, like this week, I quickly feel despondent over having to find more work and then avoid doing anything at all—avoiding looking for work because I hate that, avoiding other things because I know I'm supposed to be doing something more productive. Well I know where I'm at, I should be able to avoid the pitfalls by now... but it's the miasma of apathy that's the real problem.


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